I love it when my justifications for avoiding housework are actually legitimate.

“No, I wanna go kick puppies," she retorted.”

“Fuck you. I countered, demonstrating my keen skill at argument.”

“They served "Good Food" but only a G, an O and a D were lit up. Personally, I d…”

“Distract him? What the hell was I supposed to do? Strip naked and do the hula?”