Will isn't my little bastard assistant. Will is Pellinore Warthrop's little bastard assistant.

“...We got it all wrong, there was no alien swarm descending from the sky in the…”

“The world is large, dear Will, and we, no matter how much we would like to pret…”

“Dr. Warthrop chopped off my finger with a butcher knife.”

“Some things you don't have to promise. You just do.”