Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index.

“Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.”

“It's simple. If you go to see 'Saturday Night Fever' expecting it to be good, i…”

“All of everything came into existence simply because it wanted to be. The big b…”

“Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.”