I hate to admit this, but some days hearing about other people's problems actually cheers me up.

“Uhm, Kevin...""Be quiet, or I swear to God I'll take you right here."Yes, this …”

“Now, now. Southern ladies don’t French-kiss and tell.”

“Damn. It looks to me like I just missed the best reunion since Sherman got toge…”

“Life sure is easier when you're rich.""And a natural born charmer. Don't forget…”