They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

“[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give t…”

“She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, incl…”

“The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I…”

“I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse chee…”