Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.

“Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save t…”

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It …”

“Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!”

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof …”