Cops were distrustful; they always wanted to know why you decided to dig a hole in the middle of nowhere.

“What?" he asked. "You're staring at me funny.""We're in the wrong movie," I con…”

“Did you make plans.""Nah. I tried once or twice, but they always went to hell. …”

“You’re flightier than a hummingbird on crack.”

“It's not who you slept with that matters, but whom you fell in love with.”