Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

“You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself, he does…”

“Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it a…”

“In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.”

“The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of d…”