It really is the year 2007. Which means I must be...

Oh my God. I'm twenty-eight.

I'm old.

“Everyone's moving on without me, into a world I don't understand.”

“Jeez Louise. I know why rich people are so thin: it's from trekking around thei…”

“I feel all agitated, like one of those snow globes you see resting peacefully o…”

“I feel scalded inside. Like, third-degree burns. But no one can see them. (Flis…”