If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyway.

“The Jersey mentality is: I work, I drink, I stay up all night, I try to meet a …”

“It tastes like somebody stole my wallet. Ya know?”

“How wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying.”

“Be yourself. Don't take anyone's shit and never let them get you alive.”