After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating.

“I love your personality," I said with wide eyes and an open smile. I had used t…”

“By the way he reacted, you would have thought I told him that slavery never hap…”

“I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.”

“I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.”