I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes.

“Eight people show up. The emcee is warm, friendly, and about as funny as Shoah.…”

“He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce.”

“I suspected, around the time I graduated college, that we're all versions of ta…”

“I'm sitting at the bar, rearranging the order of my jokes. I'm under the delusi…”